In the worst of all your fears you have come so far to hear that in turn they’ve showered your name as the laughing stock. Now by fire you must hang, but me? I’m just here to liveblog this here pro wrestling show for you, folks.

The show opens with a recap of last week’s tag title unification match.

The Usos are given a big entrance.

They get on the mic and thank Roman Reigns and say two days ago marks twelve years of them being in WWE (god I remember their debut I’ve been at this too long) and never in a million years did they think they’d still be standing in the middle of this ring in front of us.

We’ve cheered them and booed them through ups and downs, and we literally watched them grow up before us. Twelve years of being away from their families and who was there? All of us. They love coming here and being an entertainer in front of us, so from the bottom of their hearts, they’d like to say “thank you.”

For the past twelve years they’ve also realized that they did need any of us, and they crow about being unified champs.

Enter Shinsuke Nakamura.

He says he and his partner challenge them to a match for the titles, and his partner wanted to fight them by himself, but he asked to join. The Usos ask where his partner is, and mock Rick Boogs for being injured. But Nakamura introduces his partner, Matt Riddle!

The Usos meet them in the ropes and they brawl, Riddle manages to take Jey down but Jimmy cuts him off and dumps Matt to the floor! The Usos work Shinsuke over until Riddle blasts them with the corkscrew moonsault!

We get a recap of Raquel Rodriguez vs. Ronda Rousey from a couple weeks ago.

Raquel makes her entrance and we cut to the women’s locker room.

Shotzi Blackheart complains about Rodriguez getting another title shot. She asks Xia Li why she, undefeated, isn’t out there. She points out Aliyah’s record-speed win and she tells her to shut up. She tells Natalya she has more victories than any woman in WWE and she’s a living legend and should be champion right now.

She tells Shayna Baszler that she’s a killer. Shotzi says they’re the best in the world and they’re letting another opportunity pass by, so what are they gonna do about it?

And so we go to break.

Back from commercial, Matt Riddle and Shinsuke Nakamura are interviewed.

Riddle explains that this team was actually Randy Orton’s idea and this team has the potential for greatness.

Raquel Rodriguez vs. Ronda Rousey

We see Shotzi Blackheart encourage Natalya and Shayna Baszler to go wreak havoc but she hangs back to get her helmet and finds herself inexplicably locked in the locker room by Aliyah.

Rodriguez using her strength early but Shayna Baszler chop blocks her...

Raquel Rodriguez wins by disqualification, presumably.

All four women brawl in the aftermath and we go to break.

Natalya & Shayna Baszler vs. Raquel Rodriguez & Ronda Rousey

Back from commercial, match joined in progress, Rodriguez reaching for a tag, Natalya tags in, Sharpshooter blocked, tag to Rousey! Ronda with judo throws, Nattie puts her in the Sharpshooter! Rousey crawling, reaching, she gets the tag and Raquel clubs away at Baszler, slapping life back into her leg.

Back suplex blocked, big headbutt follows, corkscrew elbow but Nattie and Ronda run in and get into it. Raquel shoves Baszler into Rousey, old friends square up but Neidhart pulls Ronda out of the ring! Rodriguez gets Shayna up...

Raquel Rodriguez wins by pinfall with the one-armed powerbomb on Shayna Baszler.

We see New Day backstage getting ready for an interview and go to break.

Back from commercial, commentary hypes up WWE’s jumping in on the NFT grift.

New Day are interviewed backstage.

They say they won’t give away who their partner is because that’d be spoilers and all week everybody’s been blowing their phones up to team with them and go fight the Brawling Brutes, and that means their partner could be literally anyone from Moon Knight to Max Moon to Max Headroom to Reed Richards or even just some dude they found on the street, even the interview lady.

We’re informed that Madcap Moss will return next week.

Los Lotharios make their entrance and we go to break.

Back from commercial, Jinder Mahal is backstage looking for Shanky. He opens a door to see Shanky grooving to his entrance theme and yells at him to get him to come to the ring.

Jinder Mahal & Shanky vs. Los Lotharios (Angel Garza & Humberto Carrillo)

Shanky and Carrillo to start, big man using his size and strength, decking Humberto with a big boot! Tags made, Garza laying mounted punches in, sending him to the floor and dropkicking him after before tearing his pants off and swiveling his hips in the direction of the poor ring announcer.

Shanky the great hero cuts him off with a big boot, Carrillo attacks Jinder...

Los Lotharios win by pinfall with a running dropkick from Humberto Carrillo on Jinder Mahal.

Post-match, Jinder yells at Shanky but Shanky isn’t having it, and Shanky ends up gyrating in the general direction of the poor ring announcer.

Max Dupri has a meeting with Adam Pearce backstage. He asks if he’s gotten the paperwork in order for his modeling agency to start recruiting. Pearce says they can make it official and effective immediately he’s welcoming him to SmackDown.

Kevin Owens makes his entrance and we go to break. 

 Angel-Mgr